17 Things That Would Have Happened If Twilight Took Place In Bangladesh

1. It would be called “The Toilet Chaga”

Just because “Twilight” is hard to pronounce for an average Bengali (including the makers of the filim). Also, “Chaga” rhymes with the Bengali word for poop (’cause this is the real shitzzz!)

Sample Movie Posters 

2. When Edward and Bella first meet…

3. The first time that Bella will suspect that Edward is a vampire is after she is saved by him from being hit by a rickshaw.

4. Bella figures out what Edward really is!

5. There will be product placement for Tibet Snow every time that Edward shows up on screen.

6. There will BE plenty of romantic songs!

What Bella will sing to Edward: 

7. Edward will not be able to climb trees with Bella on his back, because, like a typical dhaliwood actress, Bella will be too fat!

8. After Edward (temporarily) breaks up with Bella, Bella will try to drown herself in Buriganga in hopes of hallucinating about Edward.

        

9. Jacob will propose Bella when there is “rod-brishti”….because that is when wolves have the greatest chances of getting married.

10. Since love marriage is considered a despicable act in Bengali culture, Bella’s father will try to oppose it with typical arguments. But things will not quite go in his favor…

11. Edward will take up a job before getting married just in the fear of “Lok-e ki bolbe?!”

12. No one will get surprised by Bella getting married at 19, as it is the perfect time to get married.

13. After Bella is transformed to a vampire, the love-making scenes with Edward will be depicted by violent collisions of flowers.

14. The Cullens will be extremely disappointed at Bella’s first child being a girl.

15. Alice and Rosalie will always be conspiring against Bella Bhabi!

16. The Volturi will not walk away without a fight…’cause what’s a Bangla movie without some dishoom dishoom!

17. And it will end with a “friendly” threat from Jacob…